Are You Cognitively Complex?

Imagine an attractive person comes up to you and asks you how your day is going

Did he ask me because he finds me attractive?

Why did he ask me, does he feel lonely in life?

His body language is angled toward me.

Wow, he seems really enthusiastic.

Hmm, he isn’t talking much about himself.

He mentions his family a lot when he does talk.

He seems sincere when he talks about his grandmother.

He listens when I talk (I like that!!).

Cognitive complexity is a more sophisticated thought process in everyday interaction and conversations. For example, in this simple interaction a person with higher cognitive complexity is able to “distinguish subtle personality and behavior differences among people (According to Griffin (2012).” In this example they have higher cognitive complexity because they are able to notice differences in body language notice the topics talked about and notice the tone of voice. As well as, taking into consideration the environment of the conversation and the circumstance it is occurring under. Now these are just examples, and trust me, this example could bring up so many thoughts in one’s head. In contrast a person with little cognitive complexity will most likely take this conversation for face value. As in answer the question without noticing the person’s body language or behavior. Thus, they may end the conversation early or not fully engage in the conversation with as much insights or detail as the person  may have hoped and shown through his behaviors.

 Do not fear cognitively complexity can be learned. Cognitive complexity is created through constructs (According to Griffin (2012)” Constructs are in essence trial and error with life and everyday circumstances. Growing up one leans how to react or not react in certain situations. As well as communicate in conversations. Furthermore, one creates a reality due to experiences in different interactions. For example, if a person surrounds themselves with  people of lower cognitive complexity,  people who struggle with human interaction, or they never been challenged in interactive situations they may construct a reality of how and what conversation looks like with a black and white reality ( face value).However  a person that grew up talking to people who initiate conversation, do not shy away from conversation and enjoy communication, will most likely construct a reality in which communication is a process that has a gray area in-between the black and while. As in they are able to read the nonverbal cues in-between the sharing of conversation. Furthermore, constructs have to do with more than just environment. However, I believe environment is a clear cut example. Maturity also plays a large role.

Synopsis : People with higher  cognitive complexity are able to read nonverbal cues in a conversation. As well as understand subtle cues within the context being shared. Cognitive complexity is created through constructs. 

people with higher cognitive complexity are also able to develop person-centered messages. A person-centered message is an instance when one is able to anticipate a reaction, tailor a conversation, and adjust delivery to the audience (According to Griffin (2012)."

                                                         Dexter, poor Dexter!
 he tries so hard but he has very little cognitive complexity. Take a look at how Dexter tries to have a person-centered message with his step-kids and his in-laws.

        (Warning: this is season 5)

WOW! this scene was so hard to watch! Dexter, actually made me angry. Of course, most people aren't serial killers. However, that is not an excuse to make an already tough conversation into a nightmare  that will certaintly scar the ears that have to endure this atrocity.

                                           reasons why this not a person-centered message!!                             

1) Dexter creates more anxiety in the room by his delivery....he prolongs the worry by repeating "something bad." He doesn't take into consideration that everyone in the room is anxious and nervous. and just wants the answer.

2) Did you notice he was the only one that sat down?
 Setting the environment is important in creating a person centered message. For example, a conversation of this caliber should not be had while wearing a mickey mouse hat! let alone, as those whom are expected to feel the grunt of the emotion, standing up and not in a relaxed position.

3) "Someone came in the night and killed her". Now, this is not a appropriate delivery. This is someone's mom he is talking about. You can not always be so blunt in a conversation, especially when talking to kids about a serious conversation.

4) "Sorry for your loss"  Wait what? why is he telling his step kids and in laws he is sorry for their loss?  he was married to the woman!

Thank you for reading. I hope you learned about cognitive complexity and person -centered messages. 




reference: book
A First Look At Communication Theory
by, Em Griffin

Expectancy Violation Theory!

Expectancy Violation Theory?!?! Trust me, it sounds a lot scarier than it really is!

 Expectancy Violation Theory is a very intriguing theory about human interaction. In short, the theory declares that when people act different than our preconceived ideas, of how one should act in a certain situation, then they are violating our expectations.

                                 

                                      And it is a lot more common than you think.....

     

People create these preconceived notions by enculturation and seeing repetition of actions repeated in their relationships and everyday activities. For example, everyday life helps us create these norms. As in, these norms are established because of observations made in everyday life. Like, watching how someone eats a turkey sandwich, or having interaction with strangers. These observations become  preconvied notions and an example of our reality. We have developed norms through observation in everyday and from our own experiences in conversation.

                                      Now do you see why it is so common?

Thus, Expectancy Violation Theory is simply the incident in which one acts, differently than is normal in that certain situation. This could occur in simple interactions. For example, in this video two guys are going around giving compliments, however, the compliments are unexpected and strange. thus, the people receiving the compliments are taken aback and have to adjust their reactions. This video, is  funny and is a great example of Expectancy Violation Theory because two guys are doing a "normal" action, of complimenting a person. Furthermore, their comparisons and the things they are complementing the random citizen on are odd. Thus, those receiving the interesting compliments adjust their reactions as they have to find a simple, polite gesture for "overcoming the unexpected!" Thus, the two guys are going against preconceived norms, and altering a reality that was created through simple observations. Furthermore, the men and woman receiving the compliments were not accustomed to this kind of interaction and had to take a minute to adjust to the violation of their norm.

\http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZJ3adSiJpQ\

Expectancy Violation Theory is more than funny compliments and adjustment of communication style. Expectancy Violation Theory could also have a hugely positive affect on someone. Sometimes when one does things, unexpected, a chain reaction could occur (or just a change in mood). For example, if a cashier is usually mean, and one day is super  nice, their actions is an example of Expectancy Violation Theory. ( one that is greatly appreciated )

              Cool! Expectancy Violation Theory doesn't always have to be awkward!!

In the movie "Pay it Forward", a young boy continues to go against the norm. For example, he invites homeless men into his home. Then those men return the favor to three unexpected people. These  gestures occur in situations in which a likely outcome would not be as generous. However, this is a great movie that exemplifies Expectancy Violation Theory in a positive light. The movie proves that when one is able to step out of the box, and simply act with kindness in an otherwise normally bleak situation, then a positive affect could be had. Sometimes acting differently that our created "reality" could be positive!

                                                                

                                                                         Enjoy!